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This is of course the sidearm to Beyond the Bunker.com and where I can post more personal blogs. This isn’t intended as part of Beyond the Bunker and shouldn’t really be viewed as such as the views expressed here don’t impact particularly on life back at the BTB.
Rough day. As we near the tail end of Moon and Fallen Heroes 1 I’m finding myself exhausted by the administrative nature of it all. Having found a colourist for Moon I’m finding myself struggling to keep pace with her. She’s a teacher (like my fiancee) and a woman (like my fiancee). While I’ve never had trouble maintaining disarming sense of authority (whether deserved or not) around men I find myself hamstrung when dealing professionally with women as I invariably soften. Dan’d express his usual position that this just highlights how sexist I am but he feels that way about me because I once offered him ‘Shanna: The She Devil’ as a ‘good read’ which he seems to have taken to mean ‘please take as an outline of my sexual and social politic and my general view on women’ and not as it was intended as a beautifully drawn guilty pleasure and a simple joy demonstrating the best ‘good girl’ art around from a pass master of the form. Purely anatomical. But, I admit, I keep checking to see if she’s alright which isn’t something I did with Gat (the colourist on Fallen Heroes and a guy).
I’m pursuing a numer of side projects aside from Moon and Fallen Heroes as I feel I need to keep my hand in and get every opportunity to keep practicing and I’m getting very little opportunity to flex my creative muscles at present on the other two with the pencil and inkwork effectively complete on the first two issues. My bigger concern is simply that I’m getting married in 2012 in Cyprus and I haven’t got two pennies to rub together. In the next few months I have to see a significant increase in my earnings, a crack of some sort into the professional (paid) creative industry.
I was pinning perhaps too much importance on these two books for financial and professional gain in the short term whereas they are long term solutions. A sweeping mail from me regarding an offer by Markosia to support Fallen Heroes in digital format was knocked cleanly into touch by a far more pragmatic Martin Conaghan; the adapting writer of Fallen Heroes.
I’m being consistently passed over at my existing work which also doesn’t pay enough, working as a historical actor and the lack of money and shifts and responsibility has forced me into a petulant and agitated position which isn’t helping my position.
Frankly I’ve taken a lot of advice and a lot of criticism in recent months and I think I’ve arrived at clear decisions on what I’m doing with the next six months to a year of my life. I’ll just have to see how it pans out…
